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Hormone Pellet Injections – because im too old for SnapChat but too young for LifeAlert.

So I, reluctantly, went to a women’s social the other day. I was dreading going the entire day and even when I parked, I seriously considered just turning around and going home. But I didn’t – I mean, I had paid the $25 to attend and, at the very least, I could enjoy ONE glass of wine before I left. So I went ahead and walked on in.

When I got there I was already pretty late so I sat at a table in the back that had one seat open. I felt like I always do at about 545 in the afternoon – like I cannot wait to get home and get into my pjs and go to bed. Although, lately, It doesn’t really matter what time of the day it is because I feel like that, pretty much, all day.

The last few years have been rough. They have been rough on me, my family, my finances, my emotions…. I could go on but you get the idea. With two kids in college you can say that money is tight (and that’s putting it mildly). Stress is at an all time high and has been for a while. Needless to say, that shit takes its toll – on EVERYTHING.

I’m 46 years old. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself “high maintenance” but I like to get stuff done. I get botox injections every 3-4 months, get my nails done every few weeks, get pedi’s pretty regularly because no one deserves to rub up against THAT at night. So yeah, I’d like to think I take care of myself as best as I can. But lately, no matter how much I sleep or what PM med I took the night before I just cant seem to shake this feeling of sheer exhaustion. I always feel like something is “off”..

Anyway, back to my day – Earlier that day I had come across a youtube video for hormone replacement pellets. I was somewhat intrigued. OK, I sort of became obsessed with the idea. I made some calls and found out who offered the service, called them up, and found out how much it costs.. Needless to say, it was WAY out of my price range. So I left work, somewhat defeated, and kinda sad. Not really wanting to be social but desperately needing to make good on that $25 I had spent and a tumbler of wine (don’t judge, it’s still glass) I made my way over to that social. Again, sitting in the ONE open seat they had left.

I struck up a conversation with the loveliest lady and before long we were yapping nonstop. And guess what she brings up? Wouldn’t you know it – hormone replacement pellets! I mean, came out of nowhere… and my face lit up! She offered to lend me a book and then offered me the name and number to her provider; one that CAN work with your insurance- at least for the initial consult and labs.

I am a HUGE believer in “signs” so in my book, this meant something. First thing the following morning I reached out to the provider she gave me and made an appointment for this Monday. I have also saved a billion (ok, maybe not THAT many but close) videos, books, and links and I am headed into the weekend armed with as much information as I could possibly find.

So just to be clear – I have no problem “getting old”. I do, however, have a problem feeling it!

Law of Attraction – how hard could it be?

So I have been on this magical “transformation” of living with gratitude and positive thinking. It’s actually a lot harder than it sounds.. And, depending on the day, its down right impossible.

So, basically, the entire program can be summed up in three words..

*Believe

*Gratitude

*Visualize

#1 First and foremost, you need to BELIEVE. If you don’t believe, you don’t receive. (that’s what I tell my grown kids about Santa at Christmas)

#2. You need to learn to live each day with GRATITUDE. Be grateful for everything you see and hear… and I mean EVERYTHING.

#3 You have to VISUALIZE.. see it, believe it.. feel it… know it..

That’s it! Get those three things in order and you are well on your way to having it all. Or so they say.

Allow me to explain (at least in the way I understand it).

First, you need to BELIEVE.

Believe that you are the only person responsible for the life you have and the only person responsible for the life you want. No one else but you. This part is easy as I have always believed that to be true. You feel fat; stop eating. You hate your job; find another one and quit. You cant stand your parents; MOVE OUT..

The same goes for what you want. You want a new car; save your money. You want to travel the world; well, save your money for that, too. You want to be happy; smile more and stop complaining. 🙂

The LOA basically says that Only YOU can attract the good, the bad, and the ugly. And only YOU can attract the amazing, the exciting, and the fabulousness you want. Think those things and nothing else… and I mean, NOTHING else. Sounds easy, right? It’s not. When you have worried about things your entire life, it’s hard to just stop. And as much as I want to just quit my job and run off to see the world, I cant. I have two kids in college and a mortgage and 4 car payments, and two apartments, and… I could go on and on but I wont because that would mean i’m FOCUSING on the bad and I am not allowed to do that. Instead, I am to choose to focus on the fact that, although some months are rough, I am still managing to do ALL of those things and still get to see some parts of the world every now and then. And for that I need to be GRATEFUL.

Which leads me to point #2..

Learn to live each day with gratitude.

Everyday I start by writing in my newly purchased Gratitude Journal. There are days I sit there and stare at the blank pages looking for something, ANYTHING, to write down. Of course, there are the usuals; thankful for my family, my friends, my dog, etc. That’s the easy part. Coming up with others is where the hard part comes in. It’s only been a few weeks but I can already tell what days were better than others just by my entrees… “thankful for the sunlight” – “thankful I didn’t have to stop and put gas in my car” – yeah, those days were clearly not so great.

The goal here is to focus on the good – even if it’s just that the dog only ate one shoe and not both (yes, that happened to me) and NOT focus on the fact that he ate a shoe at all.. See how it can get sorta hard?

As you begin to fill your thoughts with gratitude and joy you’ll find that this feeling begins to expand and “attracts” even more things to be grateful and joyous over. This continues until your grateful and joyous world is overflowing with love and abundance!!! (OH HAPPY DAY!)

Visualize it.

The last part of this is the Vision Board. I had these grand plans of a peg board with a bunch of pictures but I never quite got around to that..eventually, I will, I promise..but as of right now all I have to reference is a “virtual” board on Pinterest and a makeshift one on my planner. I hear there are classes and stuff on this you can take and it’s supposed to be “life changing” but I haven’t found the time or the energy to actually do that. Again, “one day”.

Now this one seems pretty self explanatory. I am a BIG believer in lists – lists of things I NEED to do, lists of things I WANT to do, and lists of things I just want. I am also a believer of writing down your goals only makes them more real, more concrete, more definite. The hard part with this particular version is that you need to be clear. You need to be specific. You need to know EXACTLY what you want. How you will get it is of no consequence and does not matter, but you do need to know what you want. So writing “I want to be happy” wont cut it. You need to know what it will take to make you happy and write that.

Well, I hope this helps make things a little clearer and I hope when you see me forcing a smile across my face you will know why.

I also hope that in time I wont have to force it very hard.

One day at a time..

I Hope You Dance

Tomorrow is my baby’s last “official” day in high school. Of course, such a momentous day wouldn’t be complete without my usual “words of wisdom”.. so here goes…

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Life is one grand, sweet song so start the music and dance. Dance to the songs in your head, to the rhythm in your heart, and to the beat you can only feel deep down in your soul. 💃❤️💃

Always remember that although its time for me to take a few steps back and let you take the lead on this particular song, I’ll never be so far away that you can’t call me up and let me join in on a verse or two… 🎶❤️🎶

Love you to the moon and back..

#ihopeyoudance. #seniors17. #hookem

Turning 18 – WOW for my daughter

So here we are… the big “18”.. in a few short months you will be off in this big world all on your own and there is nothing I can do about it..

Your dad and I have spent many years trying really hard to instill morals and values and impart all the little bits of knowledge that we think you and your brothers will need to survive in this crazy world, and although our time here is almost up.. it’s not over yet.. so here goes.. “Moms Words of Advice On Your 18th Birthday..

1. Money does not buy happiness.

As cliché as it sounds, it’s true. Your dad and I have never been blessed with an excessive amount of money but we have been blessed with so much more. We have you and your brothers and are surrounded with an enormous amount of friends and family. Don’t ever sacrifice those special relationships for money, for those relationships are priceless. I pray you are financially secure as you head out on your own. But, I promise you; all the riches of the world will not replace the love and happiness you get from living your life to the fullest surrounded with people you love. Even through the tough times, try and find the joy in people, not in possessions.

2. Trust your gut.

Pray about big decisions. Life is a journey with many forks in the road. Each and every turn is a new adventure. Be grateful for the opportunities that come your way and patient with the ones that don’t.

3. Love deeply.

If your dad and I ever wanted to show you all anything, it was how to love. I pray we have taught you that. Love with all you have. There is no greater feeling than to love and be loved.

That’s it! First and foremost, Love God, trust in yourself, and, I promise, everything else will fall into place. .. we have all the faith in the world in you..

With all I have… I love you to the moon and much further beyond..

P. S. You and your brothers will most likely never understand why I chose the lessons that I did for each and every one of you until you have your own 18, 21, & 23 year old child (Not anytime soon, I hope) . But know that your dad and I want nothing less but the very best for all of you. And that is for you each of you to be happy and loved and enjoy this journey of life. ❤️😊❤️

Words of Wisdom for my (then) 16 Year Old Daughter

Where did the years go? It seems like just yesterday your dad and I were waiting to meet you; Anxious to know what you looked like, whose eyes you would have… We had so many questions.

Now here we are, you’re 16!… In two short years you’ll be packing your bags for college, work, or wherever God has you going next. You’ll be voting and driving. Thinking about adult topics like careers and marriage.

But before that happens, I’d like to pass …on a few thoughts:

1. Don’t Neglect Your Most Important Relationship

I’m not talking about your relationship with me, or your relationship with your dad. Not even the relationship you’ll have with your future husband. I’m talking about your relationship with God. Always make time for Him.

Life won’t be perfect, but with HIM you will have all the wisdom, assurance, and comfort you need.

2. Try Your Best and Don’t Worry About the Rest.

You do not have to be perfect. None of us are perfect. You just continue putting out the effort and Trust God for the results.

3. Education Doesn’t End at 18 {or 22}

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but learning is a lifelong process. I’m WAY older than you and I still learn something new every day. Whatever you do, don’t ever stop learning.. about the little things and about yourself.

4. Risky Business is OK {Within Reason}

Risks. I know you hate them. I don’t think it’s so much the risk that is scary but the fear of failure. Most people are wrong about failure, though. Failure is not bad. It is merely a chance to learn from our mistakes (see point #3).

5. You Are a “Masterpiece”.

I love that word. You are God’s masterpiece…a beautiful work of art. Treasured by me and by your dad and everyone who knows and loves you.

I know you have exciting times ahead! Life is never boring when you live it with your whole heart….

Love you to the moon and back!

If I Had Only…

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I often find myself wishing I had done SOME things differently.. “if I had only..”

1. Tried harder in school. – One of my biggest regrets is failing to finish what I started. Sometimes life just gets in the way. But I havent given up. I WILL DO THIS!

2. Taken better care of myself. – my face is showing the years of abuse of failing to put sunscreen, of baking in the sun lathered in baby oil. I wish I had started using moisturizer thirty years ago, not two.

3. Traveled more – fortunately for me, my job has taken me to some amazing places. UNfortunately, it’s just not the same unless im sharing it with my family. I wish I had taken more time to see the world when I was younger and more free of responsibilities. Hopefully, I can make up for the lost time. There is a giant world out there and I want to see it all!

4. Taken a few more chances – although “playing it safe” got me to where I am now (where is that?) what was I so afraid of?

5. Worried about my credit. – This should be the MOST important thing! If I had only listened to everyone who told me to stay away from those credit cards.

6. Not cared so much about what others thought – in the grand scheme of things, what difference did it make that I didnt get invited to that awesome party?

7. Spent more time with my grandparents – all of my grandparents are gone.. and so are their stories.

8. Learned how to cook. – My kids would eat a lot more than french fries and pizza.

9. NOT allowed myself to get caught up in drama. I mean, who really needs more drama..

10. Appreciated what was right in front of me .

Table for Three

I was on a flight recently when I began to overhear a conversation between two men. One man told the other that he had two daughters, both older. The other man said he had one son, 14 months old. The first man proceeds to tell him that he HAD to have another child and growing up an only child was the worst thing he could do to him. UH, HELLO… I grew up an only child and I happen to think it wasn’t so bad. On the contrary, for the most part, it was pretty darn great. Sure, being an only child can SOMETIMES be a bit boring, but sometimes, a little alone time goes a long way. Being an only child, in my opinion, helped me to become as independent as I am today. I can travel the world alone, though not my preference, but I am perfectly capable of doing so. While the people I know that grew up with siblings, esp around the same age, can’t go to the grocery store alone. My children included.

Growing up an only child wasn’t as lonely as everyone thinks it is.. Aside from having a TON of friends, I had myself. I learned who I was by a very early age and I learned to be true to myself, a conviction that still guides me today.

Sure, I may never fully understand the bond between a brother and a sister or have that bond that sisters usually do, but then people with siblings will never understand the sheer joy of never having to share your parents’ attention or deal with a younger sibling break your favorite toy or worry that your parents would chose going to your kid sisters ballet recital over your game..

As an adult, the lack of siblings makes things less complicated. My kids get all of grandmas attention and there is virtually no discussion on who gets what when it’s all over.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way promoting having only one child, nor am I promoting having ten. But if you should chose to or circumstances make it so, know that you have not done a disservice to your child. Know that your child will be a well adjusted, contributing member of society and that he/she will be just fine..

Big Boo in St Lou

(Original post Sept 2015)

Flew into St. Louis last September and before even checking into the hotel we had to stop at Pappy’s

and get our hands on some original baby back ribs. Now, i’m not really a rib eater (I don’t think the McRib counts) but these suckers were GOOD. I had my elbows deep in BBQ sauce when I saw this lady walk by. I had to do a double take and even then it took me a minute to figure out who she was, but I quickly became a screaming fan. I stood up on my picnic bench and followed her around trying to get a good pic – of which I could never do. After some persuasion, I finally got the nerve to ask her for a pic and she was beyond gracious. Don’t let the tough exterior fool you – inside, Big Boo is ALL HEART.

Thank you for making my day – and for proving to my kids that you actually WERE there!

I became quite the tourist while in St. Louis.. visited a few places I think you should check out if you are ever in the area:

Budweiser Brewery –

Founded in 1852 and the original of the six breweries; you will be transported back to a time when the beer was stored in caves and there was an actual school on the property. (I’m guessing attendance was pretty darn perfect.)

You’ll get to learn about the vision that became one of the largest and oldest breweries in the nation. Surrounded by architecture rich in history- including three National Historic Landmarks – and cutting-edge brewing technology, you’ll see history come to life. The days of the cave coolers may be long gone but the plant remains in tact visually transporting you back in time. AND.. they give FREE beer samples!

Such a fancy place to make BEER! Either way, it was a great tour and you get free samples!

Did I mention the beer samples were free?

The Gateway Arch –

There is no way you can even step within 50 miles of this city and NOT see THE ARCH. Not gonna lie though, I was a little disappointed that the view was cluttered with construction. It may have just been a bad time for me to go but it is certainly something you have to see at least once. (Once is pretty much all you need.)

For $10 you get to go up a pod and walk a portion of the top of the arch. One side of the arch is nothing but a green river but the other side was actually pretty breathtaking. Would I do it again? Probably not. But it was nice to scratch something off of the ol’ Bucket List and say I have been there.

Allow me to tell you a thing or two about those pods. They are, literally, pods. Like eggs – with seats – and a tiny window. I had pretty much assured myself I was going to die on the way up… I did, however, manage to survive. Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 9.29.46 AM

There isn’t a lot to do up there but look out both sides of the arch.

Then you gotta get back into the pod and start the prayers all over again.

St Louis Cardinals Game –

They played the Reds – Best thing about this game was the company and sitting in the Champions Club! Unlimited EVERYTHING! I ate more olives than any one person has the right to – or should.

I think they even won… I think.

Words of Wisdom as Dylan turns 21 – Lord, help us all..

November 30, 2016 at 8:21am

Your 21st birthday is a big one.. and in usual fashion, I have to give you a few “words of advice”…

Be safe.

1. A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.. when that happens, you should probably retreat to safety.

Loose the beer goggles.

2.Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.

Life is short.

3. Smile often… while you still have good teeth!

Save money.

4.If you’re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle.. I’m sorry to tell you it’s not working. And more than likely, im paying for it.. so dont.

Splurge occasionally.

5. If the shoe fits, buy it.

Lay off the selfies.

6.They’re called ‘selfies’ because the only one who’s interested in them is yourself. So let’s try not to take so many, k..

Use your time wisely.

7. The girl on the flyer is never at the club so dont waste your time.

Be aware of your surroundings.

8.Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen. Put the phone down.. look up.. and enjoy.

Safety first!

9. Live each day like it’s your last but pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isnt!

STAY-CATION – San Antonio, TX

There is something to be said about becoming a tourist in your own back yard. Although I have been to SA hundreds, if not thousands, of times, I have never really SEEN it.. not like this anyway..

I lived there for eight years as a child and had never even heard of the Majestic Theatre. It wasn’t until I moved away and came back as an adult that I became slightly obsessed with it. On my Bucket List was not only to see a show there, but to see a very specific show.. Phantom of the Opera – and that’s just what I did.

And it was SPECTACULAR!

Who would have known I could experience such beauty in my own back yard?

We started out with a fabulous dinner in a wonderful little restaurant themed after shows called the Houston St. Bistro. The show themed meals really help increase the excitement levels of the show you are about to watch. And can you say “genius idea”? I had the Phantom of the Opera dinner, of course.. it was delicious and may still be my favorite meal OF ALL TIME.

Then on to the show!

How to describe… I dont think there are enough words in the English dictionary to explain how in love I am with this theatre.

Located in the heart of downtown San Antonio, Texas, it was built in 1929 and was designed in a Spanish Mediterranean style, a style that is seen throughout. It is currently

recognized as one of the most ornate facilities in the country. The Majestic stood proudly for many years as the largest theatre in Texas and the second largest motion picture theatre in the country.

A change in entertainment led to a closing of its doors in 1974. It remained closed until 1976 where a new group took over and occasionally hosted a show or two. In 1989 it was “officially” reopened for the Symphony of San Antonio (another to add to that ever growing Bucket List) until 1995 where it was adopted by the city of SA and given a million dollar renovation. Today it stands, in all its glory, waiting for you to stop by and admire. You can find more details about the evolution of the Majestic here All I can say is if you are ever in SA, dont miss it!

But the tour couldn’t stop there! The following day we decided to visit the Tower of the America’s. Boy, has that changed! COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what I remember.. but the rotating restaurant still remains.. the view is as AMAZING as ever, and the food.. TO DIE FOR.

For $12 you can travel 750 feet into the clouds and enjoy a view of the city you cannot find anywhere else.

Maybe it’s because i’m (slightly) older or because I now appreciate things I never did before but that City is my home and a giant piece of my heart will always remain there..even if they never do finish that construction! IMG_0297-EFFECTS