Ctrl, Alt, Delete –

I’m a NEW MAC user… until about a year ago I was a Windows person all the way. Ctrl, Alt, Delete was a lifesaver. It’s how you “reboot” the system and start over. Clean slate.. Brand-spanking new. I was looking for the same combination on my MAC when it hit me… I need one of those for my life!

The last few years have been rough. I have been in this state of “existing” for a while. I’m there, I am enjoying myself (for the most part) but I have been feeling as though something is missing and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.  I’ve tried meditation, which I have yet to master because I cannot for the life of me close my eyes. I have been meaning to try yoga but never made it to a class though I’ve carried a bag around with clothes and a mat for about 3 months now. I have done the journaling, I go to church, I read ALOT… and I still can’t figure out what it is that’s missing. Don’t get me wrong. I am a happy person. I love my family. I love my house. I love my life – but why do I have this tugging feeling that something is just not right? And how the hell can I figure out what it is? And if I ever do, how do I fix it WITHOUT going all Thelma and Louise on my fam?

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A while back I started reading up on the Law of Attraction. You can read more about that here. Honestly, it’s freaking hard. I try to be positive, I swear I do. I visualize like I’m supposed to. I even made a vision board! See it here… And trust me, no one is more ready to ACCEPT than I am, but still… I can’t seem to find THAT place (or what I have recently learned is called the “Vortex”). I have bought the books, I listen to podcasts every time in the car, which is a lot, and I still can’t seem to get into that groove of “being”. WTF! Why is this so damn hard for me?

Because nothing seemed to be working I went ahead and shelled out some major bucks to get training from someone who is supposed to be the best. She’s cool – I like her- I mean, from what I can tell on her daily pre-recorded videos she looks like the kind of person I could chill with. She tells me she loves me. (I’m on day 9 and that shit is already getting old) And, I have to admit, she has sorta inspired me; even got me thinking about childhood stuff and thinking that maybe it isn’t all me – we always gotta blame the parents somehow.. but still… nada, zip, zilch! NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Except for one important lesson I will share with you now…

If you want to “reboot” your life do this: think about your positive and negative experiences, people, activities, and habits. Write them all down. When you figure out what parts of your life are no longer serving you, remove them.

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Those Facebook friends that make you cringe every time they post something stupid or yet another selfie because we just didn’t get enough of the 5 million they posted the day before (I mean, really, can’t one of your 4000 friends take a picture of you?). All of those emails you get because you hit the “subscribe now” button (except for this one) that do nothing but clutter up your inbox. And especially all those apps on your phone that have the “update me” dot screaming at you constantly though you never do because you don’t actually use it and you really have no idea what it’s for, REMOVE THEM. REMOVE THEM ALL.

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Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it’s not. If you are anything like me you’ll feel horrible deleting that person you don’t actually know but feel that you must have known them in some past life because you have 162 mutual friends. And that app; you may have that nagging feeling that you might actually need it one day (you can reload it, btw). Those emails, well, odds are slim you are ever going to win that jackpot, the coupon you’ve been saving is probably expired, and you may as well take your chances on that chain letter you never forwarded. So now is the time to put your big girl (or boy) undies on and do like Nike; “JUST DO IT”.

It’s important to remember that there is no right time or way to do this. It’s ok to feel a little sad and even a tinge of regret for a few minutes.. THEN GET OVER IT. Time to focus on the other side of the list. The one that brought you joy. The one that serves a purpose. THOSE are the ones we want to keep.

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Law of Attraction – how hard could it be?

So I have been on this magical “transformation” of living with gratitude and positive thinking. It’s actually a lot harder than it sounds.. And, depending on the day, its down right impossible.
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So, basically, the entire program can be summed up in three words..
*Believe
*Gratitude
*Visualize

#1 First and foremost, you need to BELIEVE. If you don’t believe, you don’t receive. (that’s what I tell my grown kids about Santa at Christmas)

#2. You need to learn to live each day with GRATITUDE. Be grateful for everything you see and hear… and I mean EVERYTHING.

#3 You have to VISUALIZE.. see it, believe it.. feel it… know it..

 

That’s it! Get those three things in order and you are well on your way to having it all. Or so they say.

Allow me to explain (at least in the way I understand it).

 First, you need to BELIEVE. 

Believe that you are the only person responsible for the life you have and the only person responsible for the life you want. No one else but you.  This part is easy as I have always believed that to be true. You feel fat; stop eating. You hate your job; find another one and quit. You cant stand your parents; MOVE OUT..
The same goes for what you want. You want a new car; save your money. You want to travel the world; well, save your money for that, too. You want to be happy; smile more and stop complaining. 🙂
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The LOA basically says that Only YOU can attract the good, the bad, and the ugly. And only YOU can attract the amazing, the exciting, and the fabulousness you want. Think those things and nothing else… and I mean, NOTHING else. Sounds easy, right? It’s not. When you have worried about things your entire life, it’s hard to just stop. And as much as I want to just quit my job and run off to see the world, I cant. I have two kids in college and a mortgage and 4 car payments, and two apartments, and… I could go on and on but I wont because that would mean i’m FOCUSING on the bad and I am not allowed to do  that.  Instead, I am to choose to focus on the fact that, although  some months are rough, I am still managing to do ALL of those things and still get to see some parts of the world every now and then. And for that I need to be GRATEFUL.
Which leads me to point #2..

Learn to live each day with gratitude. 

Everyday I start by writing in my newly purchased Gratitude Journal. There are days I sit there and stare at the blank pages looking for something, ANYTHING, to write down. Of course, there are the usuals; thankful for my family, my friends, my dog, etc. That’s the easy part. Coming up with others is where the hard part comes in. It’s only been a few weeks but I can already tell what days were better than others just by my entrees… “thankful for the sunlight” – “thankful I didn’t have to stop and put gas in my car” – yeah, those days were clearly not so great.
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The goal here is to focus on the good – even if it’s just that the dog only ate one shoe and not both (yes, that happened to me) and NOT focus on the fact that he ate a shoe at all.. See how it can get sorta hard?
As you begin to fill your thoughts with gratitude and joy you’ll find that this feeling begins to expand and “attracts” even more things to be grateful and joyous over. This continues until your grateful and joyous world is overflowing with love and abundance!!!  (OH HAPPY DAY!)

Visualize it.

The last part of this is the Vision Board.  I had these grand plans of a peg board with a bunch of pictures but I never quite got around to that..eventually, I will, I promise..but as of right now all I have to reference is a “virtual” board on Pinterest and a makeshift one on my planner. I hear there are classes and stuff on this you can take and it’s supposed to be “life changing” but I haven’t found the time or the energy to actually do that. Again, “one day”. f90480071a08306bbc79112e208683de
Now this one seems pretty self explanatory. I am a BIG believer in lists – lists of things I NEED to do, lists of things I WANT to do, and lists of things I just want. I am also a believer of writing down your goals only makes them more real, more concrete, more definite. The hard part with this particular version is that you need to be clear. You need to be specific. You need to know EXACTLY what you want. How you will get it is of no consequence and does not matter, but you do need to know what you want. So writing “I want to be happy” wont cut it. You need to know what it will take to make you happy and write that.
Well, I hope this helps make things a little clearer and I hope when you see me forcing a smile across my face you will know why.
I also hope that in time I wont have to force it very hard.
One day at a time..