Ctrl, Alt, Delete –

I’m a NEW MAC user… until about a year ago I was a Windows person all the way. Ctrl, Alt, Delete was a lifesaver. It’s how you “reboot” the system and start over. Clean slate.. Brand-spanking new. I was looking for the same combination on my MAC when it hit me… I need one of those for my life!

The last few years have been rough. I have been in this state of “existing” for a while. I’m there, I am enjoying myself (for the most part) but I have been feeling as though something is missing and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.  I’ve tried meditation, which I have yet to master because I cannot for the life of me close my eyes. I have been meaning to try yoga but never made it to a class though I’ve carried a bag around with clothes and a mat for about 3 months now. I have done the journaling, I go to church, I read ALOT… and I still can’t figure out what it is that’s missing. Don’t get me wrong. I am a happy person. I love my family. I love my house. I love my life – but why do I have this tugging feeling that something is just not right? And how the hell can I figure out what it is? And if I ever do, how do I fix it WITHOUT going all Thelma and Louise on my fam?

https://youtu.be/-dUYR2apxdA

A while back I started reading up on the Law of Attraction. You can read more about that here. Honestly, it’s freaking hard. I try to be positive, I swear I do. I visualize like I’m supposed to. I even made a vision board! See it here… And trust me, no one is more ready to ACCEPT than I am, but still… I can’t seem to find THAT place (or what I have recently learned is called the “Vortex”). I have bought the books, I listen to podcasts every time in the car, which is a lot, and I still can’t seem to get into that groove of “being”. WTF! Why is this so damn hard for me?

Because nothing seemed to be working I went ahead and shelled out some major bucks to get training from someone who is supposed to be the best. She’s cool – I like her- I mean, from what I can tell on her daily pre-recorded videos she looks like the kind of person I could chill with. She tells me she loves me. (I’m on day 9 and that shit is already getting old) And, I have to admit, she has sorta inspired me; even got me thinking about childhood stuff and thinking that maybe it isn’t all me – we always gotta blame the parents somehow.. but still… nada, zip, zilch! NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Except for one important lesson I will share with you now…

If you want to “reboot” your life do this: think about your positive and negative experiences, people, activities, and habits. Write them all down. When you figure out what parts of your life are no longer serving you, remove them.

Those Facebook friends that make you cringe every time they post something stupid or yet another selfie because we just didn’t get enough of the 5 million they posted the day before (I mean, really, can’t one of your 4000 friends take a picture of you?). All of those emails you get because you hit the “subscribe now” button (except for this one) that do nothing but clutter up your inbox. And especially all those apps on your phone that have the “update me” dot screaming at you constantly though you never do because you don’t actually use it and you really have no idea what it’s for, REMOVE THEM. REMOVE THEM ALL.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it’s not. If you are anything like me you’ll feel horrible deleting that person you don’t actually know but feel that you must have known them in some past life because you have 162 mutual friends. And that app; you may have that nagging feeling that you might actually need it one day (you can reload it, btw). Those emails, well, odds are slim you are ever going to win that jackpot, the coupon you’ve been saving is probably expired, and you may as well take your chances on that chain letter you never forwarded. So now is the time to put your big girl (or boy) undies on and do like Nike; “JUST DO IT”.

It’s important to remember that there is no right time or way to do this. It’s ok to feel a little sad and even a tinge of regret for a few minutes.. THEN GET OVER IT. Time to focus on the other side of the list. The one that brought you joy. The one that serves a purpose. THOSE are the ones we want to keep.