Back to Basics

2019.. another year is behind us.. a brand new one is right before us..

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This year I decided to forgo the usual resolutions I make each and every year.. to skip the annual Jan 1st through Jan 5th diet and only promise myself one thing.. go back to the basics..
What does that mean? I don’t really know for sure.. I think it means that I will look at my cell phone a lot less and stare at my kids faces a lot more; draft a few less emails and send a handwritten card in its place every now and then – yes, with an actual stamp (that is still a thing, right?) Maybe I’ll pass up one weekend of Netflix binging and take a drive to the beach instead.. who knows.. right now, the possibilities are endless…
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42 bottles of blood….

I went for my initial consult this morning. Went through the usual array of medical questions – when was your last period?  2006.. how many children? 3  do you drink? I have THREE children, of course I drink!  You get the idea..

I did the whole peeing in a cup thing, they took, what appeared to me, to be ALL of the blood I had left in my body (so much so I had to stop and get a donut – I was sure I was going to pass out). They scheduled a pap, a sono, and a mammogram.

So as of right now – no idea if I am a candidate. They did, however, give me a prescription for progesterone. “To help you sleep” – hey, whatever works – hook me up – and a pamphlet… because I haven’t already read everything I needed to know about this process..

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and now I wait..

Law of Attraction – how hard could it be?

So I have been on this magical “transformation” of living with gratitude and positive thinking. It’s actually a lot harder than it sounds.. And, depending on the day, its down right impossible.
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So, basically, the entire program can be summed up in three words..
*Believe
*Gratitude
*Visualize

#1 First and foremost, you need to BELIEVE. If you don’t believe, you don’t receive. (that’s what I tell my grown kids about Santa at Christmas)

#2. You need to learn to live each day with GRATITUDE. Be grateful for everything you see and hear… and I mean EVERYTHING.

#3 You have to VISUALIZE.. see it, believe it.. feel it… know it..

 

That’s it! Get those three things in order and you are well on your way to having it all. Or so they say.

Allow me to explain (at least in the way I understand it).

 First, you need to BELIEVE. 

Believe that you are the only person responsible for the life you have and the only person responsible for the life you want. No one else but you.  This part is easy as I have always believed that to be true. You feel fat; stop eating. You hate your job; find another one and quit. You cant stand your parents; MOVE OUT..
The same goes for what you want. You want a new car; save your money. You want to travel the world; well, save your money for that, too. You want to be happy; smile more and stop complaining. 🙂
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The LOA basically says that Only YOU can attract the good, the bad, and the ugly. And only YOU can attract the amazing, the exciting, and the fabulousness you want. Think those things and nothing else… and I mean, NOTHING else. Sounds easy, right? It’s not. When you have worried about things your entire life, it’s hard to just stop. And as much as I want to just quit my job and run off to see the world, I cant. I have two kids in college and a mortgage and 4 car payments, and two apartments, and… I could go on and on but I wont because that would mean i’m FOCUSING on the bad and I am not allowed to do  that.  Instead, I am to choose to focus on the fact that, although  some months are rough, I am still managing to do ALL of those things and still get to see some parts of the world every now and then. And for that I need to be GRATEFUL.
Which leads me to point #2..

Learn to live each day with gratitude. 

Everyday I start by writing in my newly purchased Gratitude Journal. There are days I sit there and stare at the blank pages looking for something, ANYTHING, to write down. Of course, there are the usuals; thankful for my family, my friends, my dog, etc. That’s the easy part. Coming up with others is where the hard part comes in. It’s only been a few weeks but I can already tell what days were better than others just by my entrees… “thankful for the sunlight” – “thankful I didn’t have to stop and put gas in my car” – yeah, those days were clearly not so great.
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The goal here is to focus on the good – even if it’s just that the dog only ate one shoe and not both (yes, that happened to me) and NOT focus on the fact that he ate a shoe at all.. See how it can get sorta hard?
As you begin to fill your thoughts with gratitude and joy you’ll find that this feeling begins to expand and “attracts” even more things to be grateful and joyous over. This continues until your grateful and joyous world is overflowing with love and abundance!!!  (OH HAPPY DAY!)

Visualize it.

The last part of this is the Vision Board.  I had these grand plans of a peg board with a bunch of pictures but I never quite got around to that..eventually, I will, I promise..but as of right now all I have to reference is a “virtual” board on Pinterest and a makeshift one on my planner. I hear there are classes and stuff on this you can take and it’s supposed to be “life changing” but I haven’t found the time or the energy to actually do that. Again, “one day”. f90480071a08306bbc79112e208683de
Now this one seems pretty self explanatory. I am a BIG believer in lists – lists of things I NEED to do, lists of things I WANT to do, and lists of things I just want. I am also a believer of writing down your goals only makes them more real, more concrete, more definite. The hard part with this particular version is that you need to be clear. You need to be specific. You need to know EXACTLY what you want. How you will get it is of no consequence and does not matter, but you do need to know what you want. So writing “I want to be happy” wont cut it. You need to know what it will take to make you happy and write that.
Well, I hope this helps make things a little clearer and I hope when you see me forcing a smile across my face you will know why.
I also hope that in time I wont have to force it very hard.
One day at a time..

Words of Wisdom for my College Freshman Daughter

So my baby , you are officially a college student.

IMG_6910.jpgAt this point, all I can do is pray that your dad and I taught you well and set you free..
It also means my time here sharing my “words of wisdom” is just about done and,although I meant each and every word I ever said to you and can assure you that I poured every ounce of thought and emotion into my “teachings”..well, you’re officially an “adult” and you will be living in AUSTIN.(Hook, ‘em). so it’s time to get real.. I think you’re ready and can handle the truth..
This is what I REALLY want you to know..
My FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM as my baby goes off to COLLEGE:
First and MOST IMPORTANTLY: If you see Mathew McConaughey, TAKE A PICTURE.. I don’t care if you have to trample people, miss class, or look like a crazy fool.. you get that picture.. then you tell him your mom loves him.  IMG_2608.jpg
Now that THAT is out of the way, here is what I really want you to know..
* Play in traffic. You still want to look both ways and make sure a big old truck isn’t coming, but don’t spend your life on the side of the road. A little traffic play will do you good. (within reason!)
* Go ahead and count those chickens before they hatch. If not, you’ll live expecting that they may not. Expect them to hatch, all of them. And if the      time should arise when they don’t, well that’s ok, too.. just move on to the next plan..
* Don’t make wardrobe decisions based on the possibility that you may get into an accident, but do wear clean underwear. Everyday. Please.
* Honesty is not always the best policy. In some situations telling a lie is just the right thing to do. The secret to maturity is in knowing when.
* Do not keep your enemies closer. Who wants close enemies? Keep your friends closer..
* The grass is not always greener. On the contrary, it’s the weeds, mud, and dried patches that make us who we are. But do take the time to “water”, in other words, take time out to be with no one else but your thoughts to reflect and pray. A little “me time” is good for the soul… seize the opportunity every chance you get.
* Never, ever, ever wear cheap make up. Cute eye shadows and lip glosses are fine, but not make up..(it’ll clog your pores and make you break out – and your face will need to be fresh for that pic with Matt). Wait till you get home and mom will spring for the good stuff. Same goes for shoes.. last thing you want is achy feet.
* It’s not all about what’s inside. Looks matter. I’m not talking about some classic idea of beauty, I’m talking about the way we feel when we look our best. Take showers. Wash your clothes. Get your hair cut. Exercise and eat well. Fries with cheese are an option but  not the only one.IMG_2762
* The early bird may catch the worm, but who wants worms anyway? Get a good night’s sleep, be well rested, I’m sure there will be a worm or two left if you really have your heart set on worms.
* You can have your cake and eat it too. In fact, if you let me know when you’re coming, I’ll even bake it for you. And I hear there are some amazing cupcakerys in Austin that I would be more than willing to make a trip up for.
* The glass is not always half full. But you can always fill it.
* The ends do not always justify the means. That’s an excuse, not a way of life.
*Good things may well come to those who wait. They also come to those who go out and work for them. So put in the work. Lots of it.FullSizeRender
* Ultimately there’s no such thing as getting off on the wrong foot. The point is to get moving. If you have to change direction, put on your blinker, make a u-turn, step on the gas and go.
* Love is not blind. You’ll see.
* Sometimes you do have to sweat the details, it’s called being prepared.
* Time does not heal all wounds. Some will stay with you. Forever. Be careful who you give your heart to and try not to be the cause of other peoples wounds.
* Where there’s smoke there’s not always fire. Sometimes there’s just smoke. Don’t assume anything. Always take time to assess the situation. All of them.IMG_0403
* It’s not always the quality, sometimes it’s the quantity. Fill your life with close friends and family, but leave room for acquaintances, friends of friends and the guy next door.
* It’s not just how you play the game. Sometimes winning does matter. Play to win.
* Whether or not absence makes the heart grow fonder is immaterial; call your mom. This one’s never going to change, may as well just go with it.
* And when you fall in love and marry and have kids of your own . . .
. . . don’t blink. Before you know it, you will be sending your own child off to college..
That’s it! Love you to the moon and back! Always have. Always will.
#gottalovecliches  #hookem  #UT121 #pinkumbrellas

Then They Do….

I had three kids by the age of 26.. I remember being so tired I would go into the shower and cry. I worried about them constantly.. I worried that I wouldn’t have the energy to keep up with the midnight feedings or that I wasn’t paying enough attention to the boys or that I wasn’t paying enough attention to myself or my husband. I would tell myself that as soon as ONE of them slept through the night, everything would be better.. and then they do.. and my worries changed.
Then we enter the stage of sleeping through the night but awake all day. It was no longer formula and baby food, it was REAL food.. and I worried that I wasn’t feeding them the proper foods, that they would choke on pieces of ham or chips or cookies.. I would tell myself that as soon as they started walking, everything would be better… and then they do.. and again, my worries changed. file-27.jpg
Then I had three kids all under the age of five WALKING… everywhere.. and I worried that they would slip away from my sight and head out to the pool or out the front door or slip away from me at the mall.. I would tell myself that as soon as they started school, everything would be better.. and then they do.. and again, my worries changed.
Then I started working while they were at school. And I worried that they were going to be teased or bullied or I wasn’t going to be around if they got sick. I would tell myself that as soon as they entered middle school, everything would be better.. and then they do.. and my worries changed.
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All three in school, two in middle school and one at the elementary. And I worried about them walking home and where they would go and who they’d stay with.. would they get into someone’s car, would they remember to look both ways before crossing the street, would they JUST LOOK UP FROM THAT PHONE! I would tell myself as soon as ONE was driving, everything would be better… and then they do… and again, my worries changed.
Now all THREE are driving and I worry if I can afford it, are they drinking, is someone else on the road drinking, are they paying attention to their surroundings… will they ever JUST STAY HOME? And I’d tell myself once they were all grown and out of the house, everything would be better… and then they do.. and guess what – I STILL WORRY.
Bottom line – doesn’t matter how old they are or what stage of their life they are in you will always worry about them; that never changes. The only thing that changes are the worries themselves.
If I could go back to the days when they were all at home and I would cry from being so tired; I would do it in a heartbeat – because at least I knew they were there – with me. But I cant, so I just have to hope for the best… hope that we taught them right and let them go.. watching as they walk out the door – again.
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