So I, reluctantly, went to a women’s social the other day. I was dreading going the entire day and even when I parked, I seriously considered just turning around and going home. But I didn’t – I mean, I had paid the $25 to attend and, at the very least, I could enjoy ONE glass of wine before I left. So I went ahead and walked on in.
When I got there I was already pretty late so I sat at a table in the back that had one seat open. I felt like I always do at about 545 in the afternoon – like I cannot wait to get home and get into my pjs and go to bed. Although, lately, It doesn’t really matter what time of the day it is because I feel like that, pretty much, all day.
The last few years have been rough. They have been rough on me, my family, my finances, my emotions…. I could go on but you get the idea. With two kids in college you can say that money is tight (and that’s putting it mildly). Stress is at an all time high and has been for a while. Needless to say, that shit takes its toll – on EVERYTHING.
I’m 46 years old. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself “high maintenance” but I like to get stuff done. I get botox injections every 3-4 months, get my nails done every few weeks, get pedi’s pretty regularly because no one deserves to rub up against THAT at night. So yeah, I’d like to think I take care of myself as best as I can. But lately, no matter how much I sleep or what PM med I took the night before I just cant seem to shake this feeling of sheer exhaustion. I always feel like something is “off”..
Anyway, back to my day – Earlier that day I had come across a youtube video for hormone replacement pellets. I was somewhat intrigued. OK, I sort of became obsessed with the idea. I made some calls and found out who offered the service, called them up, and found out how much it costs.. Needless to say, it was WAY out of my price range. So I left work, somewhat defeated, and kinda sad. Not really wanting to be social but desperately needing to make good on that $25 I had spent and a tumbler of wine (don’t judge, it’s still glass) I made my way over to that social. Again, sitting in the ONE open seat they had left.
I struck up a conversation with the loveliest lady and before long we were yapping nonstop. And guess what she brings up? Wouldn’t you know it – hormone replacement pellets! I mean, came out of nowhere… and my face lit up! She offered to lend me a book and then offered me the name and number to her provider; one that CAN work with your insurance- at least for the initial consult and labs.
I am a HUGE believer in “signs” so in my book, this meant something. First thing the following morning I reached out to the provider she gave me and made an appointment for this Monday. I have also saved a billion (ok, maybe not THAT many but close) videos, books, and links and I am headed into the weekend armed with as much information as I could possibly find.
So just to be clear – I have no problem “getting old”. I do, however, have a problem feeling it!