30 Days of Thankful – and why I almost didn’t do it.

Every November since 2012 I’ve done this 30 Days of Thankful thing.  It first started as a fb “challenge” from a friend and it quickly became one of my favorite things to do. One I usually look forward to all year long. 

This year, for some reason, I just didn’t want to do it. 

It’s been a rough year.  

Late last year my job structure changed and I’ve had a tough time adjusting to it and all the “freedom” it’s given me. I use that term loosely because, while I may have acquired the flexibility I cried about for DECADES, I lost the stability and structure I never knew I desperately needed. Yeah, came as a surprise to me too. 

My kids are all grown and doing their best to adjust to this adulting thing but, let’s be real here, they aren’t that great at it yet and they’ve made some really crappy decisions that have cost us lots of money and heart ache. Thank God you guys are super cute and that I have an amazing sense of humor (yes, I just complimented myself) because that’s, pretty much, what’s kept me from not beating all of their butts- you’re welcome. 😬

Sparing you the boring details, one, not quite completely insured car I still owe a substantial amount of money on, was totaled and the other car caught fire. Literally! And, of course, I was grateful everyone was ok and, of course, that’s what’s REALLY important but the damn car went up in flames. Big ones! I mean, come on, seriously??

I also realized I have zero budgeting abilities and my finances are in a state that’s pretty similar to that car that had to be SCOOPED off the expressway. Turns out I have a whole lot of stuff I don’t want or need, including 27 grey t shirts I bought from Facebook ads. Do I think they’re cute? Very. Will I ever wear them? Nope!

Seems like just when things are about to get better, something else falls apart. Like me, for example. 

I’m getting old and I’m not liking it very much. Botox has become my new favorite thing (someone stop me if I come anywhere remotely close to looking like the joker). I’m always tired, my blood pressure is high, I am pretty sure I’m in the beginning stages of menopause and I spend more time talking to my dog than I do anyone else (he’s an excellent listener, btw) because there’s only about a handful of people I don’t often want to punch in the face – and no, my kids are not always a part of that group. As a matter of fact, they are RARELY in that group.  (Mommy still loves ya, though!❤️❤️❤️) 

The passing of my stepfather was the hardest. Not only was he gone and I now had this huge hole in my heart but I had my mom being alone and the possibility of her moving in with me to add to my list of worries! (I still can’t tell you which scares me more ; her being alone or her wanting to live here!!! – love you mom!😊❤️😬)

And yes, I have had alot of really great times in between all of this stuff and I know how blessed I really am (I do know, I promise I do) I just hadn’t been feeling it a lot lately. But yesterday we got to do something really great for one kid and the other two were truly  happy for her and I realized that THAT was what mattered. My kids were (almost)well adjusted- not -a -danger- to -society- about -to -be -adult people that were genuinely HAPPY and there for each other when it mattered the most. 

As she drove away this morning, still glowing from yesterday’s events, and I realized that it was the 3rd of November and that today was my dads, Manuel’s 69th birthday and he was stronger and better than ever and all of those crappy things that happened could have, just possibly, made ME stronger and better, too! So I’m doing it; 3 days behind but that’s ok… sometimes you just have to take a minute (or 3 days or a month or a year or whatever) to make the decision that it’s time. Time to get your shit together and stop worrying about things that are out of your control and just be grateful for every good, hell, any half-way -decent -at -least -I’m -not- dead moment you got! 

26 thoughts on “30 Days of Thankful – and why I almost didn’t do it.

  1. I think the times when we aren’t feeling thankful are the times when we need these challenges the most. Reminding ourselves of our blessing are such a great way to change our mindsets.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You should try it! it’s crazy what a difference it can make. It’s almost like this “challenge” MAKES you look and before you know it, things are just appearing. And it gets easier and easier. Then you look back and think – wow – what a month I have had!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know what, life knocks you down so many times but you learned how to kick it in the butt. You should celebrate that, somethings we just need a lil reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The fb/ig challenges are always interesting. I agree that it pays to be grateful for the small things, it doesn’t always need to be something big in order to be special/important.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry for the rough year you had… I want to say, I know how you feel, but of course no one really knows what’s going on in someone else’ s mind and heart. But I hope that you have a better 2020.

    There’s so much to be grateful for and it makes me happy that you still feel grateful for life, despite the bad turn it took. Good luck and God Bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve had a year of growth and personal development, which came with it’s challenges. It’s only then have I developed positive habits like a gratitude diary, meditating yoga, exercise and many others, which I wouldn’t have if not being pushed, pulled and stretched. It’s been hard, but I would not change anything for what I have learnt going through it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have tried meditation and I cant do it! It’s almost like Im afraid to close my eyes… I seriously considered being hypnotized (no joke) but I was afraid I’d start SNORING!

      Like

  6. Being grateful is a wonderful thing. Being able to appreciate everything that we have – even the smallest things helps us become more positive. I believe that it’s sort of a ‘magnet’ like the more we appreciate things the more we are blessed. I hope you’re well. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree.. It’s amazing how something so insignificant can make such a dramatic change – having to find something, anything, to be grateful for really makes you look for things. After a few days, it’s not so hard. It’s almost like these “things” come looking for you!

      Liked by 1 person

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